Sunday, May 29, 2011

Panic must be the worst feeling

Abigail recently figured out how to unlock the front door. So naturally I thought I would add another lock much higher on the door that she couldn't reach. The problem is, the door is hollow so the screw won't catch and the panel that the other piece of the lock needs to be screwed into is metal. So, that plan did not work. We did a temporary fix: we put a 55 lb weight in front of the door so she couldn't get out. Well, while Mom was cooking dinner I noticed that Abby was being quiet. Too quiet! I don't know how but she had moved the weight and gotten outside. I panicked. We have a pool (with a fence around it) and many many many acres of forest behind us with a pond. The dangers to her were unlimited. I panicked running down the street calling her name. What a terrible feeling! Finally in the backyard I hear a "No". It was her! She had crawled all the way under our very large deck and was playing in the mud. I have never felt so happy hearing someone tell me "no" in my life. So now we have 110 lbs. in front of the door.
I wish we could sell our house and have a small townhouse built especially to suit Abby's needs full of safety features. But the way the market is, it would ruin us financially to sell and we don't need any more stress in our lives right now.
I have thought that lately Sacrament meeting has been going well with Abby. She has at least been able to sit through the whole meeting. The thing is, she is four and just starting to talk. She gets so excited when she recognizes something she can label. So, she yells it out. Plus, she doesn't understand the concept of, "Be quiet!" This makes for an irreverent Abby. The combined Sunday School lesson today was on Reverence and my husband who does not get offended easily felt that some of the comments by some of the older people might have been directed at Abby's behavior. (I was in nursery so I wasn't there.) He felt hurt and a bit unwelcome.
From earlier posts you will read that I considered putting Abby in daycare on Sundays. But a good brother in our ward reminded me in his testimony that the gospel of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is about families. It is about bringing people unto Christ, even my Abby.

Missed the Fish

My husband has been craving a fun family outing. We do so few these days because it is difficult to take Abby places. After much persistence, Bryant talked me into taking Abigail and Lincoln to the Baltimore aquarium. We invited Grandpa along for the adventure.
Children with Autism are drawn to water and my Abby is no different. As soon as she saw the bay the meltdown began. It took all of my strength to restrain her from jumping in. Being a Saturday there were onlookers everywhere. Abby was crying; Mom was crying. Grandpa suggested Abby be medicated. Poor Grandpa, the tension was high and I really snapped at him for that suggestion. We took her back to the car and she happily ate snacks and played games on the iPad. Grandpa stayed with Abby in the car and it turned out to be a nice afternoon and we had a date with our seven year old son at the aquarium. It was so crowded that you had to wait in line to view the fish. There was no way Abby could have handled that.
On the positive side, Grandpa experienced what it is like for us so maybe he will be more understanding. Also, I am the type of person that does not like attention brought to myself. Having to deal with so many people staring at me had to have made me a lot stronger. And that I am thankful.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Happy Birthday Baby!

Tomorrow is Abigail's fourth birthday. I feel so blessed to be her mom. Despite our challenges, I am so lucky to have this bright eyed spunky girl who challenges me and teaches me. Having experience working with children for 10 years I thought I knew it all. Abby has taught me that there is so much I didn't know. I have so much excitement and anticipation at connecting with her, and her little by little letting me in to her world, her thoughts, and how she sees things around her. I am now appreciating more and more the opportunity I have to see the world through a whole knew light. I love you Abby! Thank you for enriching my life with new experiences. Love, Mommy